Next Sunday, February 26, the 89th Academy Awards will be televised.

And, oh, I'm so woefully unprepared.

The Academy Awards are my Super Bowl. I look forward to them every year. I don't host a party for the annual awarding of the Oscars, but my movie-loving husband and I do spend the evening in front of the television cheering on our favorites of the films and their makers — actors, directors, and otherwise — of the nominated pictures we've seen.

Which is where the "woefully unprepared" part comes in. We...