Don't speak: When silence refreshes relationship between Mom and Grandma

My daughter recently emailed me the ticket confirmation for my next visit to the desert. The trip is set for the latter part of April.

I, of course, must work to contain my excitement and anticipation as I look forward to soon spending ten days with my grandsons.

I also look forward — sans the fanfare and excitement, I admit — to the days after the trip, the days when I’ve returned home and my daughter won’t be speaking to me.

Yes, when I get back from that trip, I’m sure my daughter won’t speak to me. Which will be okay, though, for I surely won’t speak to her, either.

That may seem odd, considering I have no doubt we’ll have a delightful time in April. The first few days of the visit will be spent with my daughter, son-in-law and my precious grandsons. Then I’ll have nearly a week of serving as sole caretaker of Bubby and Mac, as Megan accompanies Preston for an out-of-state conference. Then Megan and Preston will return home, and we’ll have even more time together.

That time together is precisely why my daughter and I won’t be speaking afterward.

You see, somewhere along the line of my daughter becoming “Mommy” and me becoming “Gramma,” we fell into the habit of not calling, texting, e-mailing or connecting in pretty much any way whatsoever for a few days after extended visits with one other.

We didn’t plan such a tack; it happened naturally. It’s a natural progression of the ways our roles and connection to one another have changed. And it’s been a boon to our relationship.

My daughter and I thrive on the times the miles that typically separate us geographically are erased, and we strengthen our connection with hours upon hours of real face time. We come together with much to share about our jobs, hobbies, anxieties, accomplishments, family updates and hopes for the future. And, of course, there’s always much to discuss about her children, my grandchildren — how to care for them, grow them, love them best.

We share it all, accompanied by hugs, laughs, tears, good times. Intense times that can be exhausting — in fulfilling ways. Eventually, we've filled up the nooks and crannies of our hearts and souls, the spots that often feel empty when loved ones live far away.

Then, as luck would have it, that’s usually about the time the visit is over. So we separate. And we stop talking.

The mother/daughter relationship is one of those tangled webs we unwittingly weave. The web only grows tighter, more tangled, the more time we spend together, especially when we’re used to having our own space, our own place. It takes time to untangle, to return to our separate realities.

After a few days, we'll little by little start conversing again. By text, by phone, maybe through email. Now that I have FaceTime on my iPhone, it may just even happen in a pseudo face-to-face this time.

However it happens, it happens naturally. More importantly, it happens to work — for us and for our relationship.

Today's question:

How often do you communicate with your children — in person, by text, by phone, etcetera?

My daughter the marathoner, plus the GRAND Social

Please indulge me as I enjoy a moment of motherly boasting. You see, my daughter Megan is awesome. Well, all three of my daughters are awesome, but in light of Megan's participation in yesterday's LA Marathon, today she tops Mom's List of Awesome.

In yesterday's post, I shared as Megan and my grandsons (and Preston, too) set out on Megan's marathon adventure. Today I share with you the results. Of the more than 22,000 participants, here is how my middle daughter did in her first full (26.2 mile) marathon:

Like I said, Megan is awesome. I am so, so proud of her.

Bubby had some awesome fun of his own while in California, finding sport of a different sort on the beach during this — only his second ever — ocean-side experience:

Awesomeness awaits the rest of us, courtesy this week's GRAND Social. Thank you for joining me!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post and graphic to the list.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky. And no contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you all — bloggers and readers — visit, read and comment, even if it's just "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social!

Photo replay: Going to California

Mac and Bubby hit the road Friday, headed to California, where Mommy Megan will run her first-ever full marathon.

Good luck to Megan, for whom my heart swells with pride as I consider her conquering 26.2 miles. On foot.

May the luck o' the Irish be with her — and with everyone else today.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What I learned this week: Love in action

As I mentioned last week, it's important to learn new things all the time — even if you have to dig deep to define after the fact what those lessons have been.

This week, I learned quite a bit about copy editing for a website that's not mine, as I started new online gig as a copy editor for SheKnows.com. Expounding on that lesson would be quite boring to many of you, I'm sure, so I have another lesson I learned this week that I'd like to share. (Yes, I did indeed learn two things this week!)

Here is what I learned this week: I learned that if I keep my iPhone close by, move quickly, and not let the subjects notice I think it's a big deal, I can catch love in action.

Love between Mickey (one of my dogs) and Abby (one of my cats):

 

This post linked to Grandparents Say It Saturday.

 Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

Dad's cool profession

My son-in-law, Preston — father to my two grandsons — is a financial advisor. Now, adults likely get the importance and necessity of a person who is whiz-bang awesome with money. Kids, though? You might think kids wouldn't see financial advising as all that cool of a profession, especially for their papa.

If that is what you think kids might think, I'm here to suggest that you just might want to think again.

You see, there are plenty of cool aspects to financial advising, especially from the perspective of kids whose dad just happens to be a financial advisor.

For one thing, financial advisor dads have supercool piggy banks they give their clients to share with their kids.

Supercool piggy banks that the financial advisor dads share with their own kids, too.

Piggy banks that look sort of like this (for copyright reasons, I can't share the real thing here):

 

Even cooler? Financial advisor dads regularly give presentations on money to businesses and organizations.

Using a projector.

A projector that — every once in a while — the financial advisor dad brings home for his family to have the most awesome of movie nights.

Movie nights that look exactly like this:

Now how cool is that?

(And how cute is that? Especially that Mac's little body doesn't even fill the entire ottoman as he kicks back to enjoy the show, just like his big brother.)

Yep, financial advising is indeed a pretty cool profession for dads.

Even more cool for their kids.

Just ask Mac and Bubby.

Piggy bank photo: stock.xchng

Today's question:

My dad was a plumber. What was your dad's profession?