Grandma was a bully

I'm ashamed to admit that I was a sixth-grade bully. As an individual, I didn't have the personality to be a bully on my own. But in a group, I was just as guilty as the others of hurtful and hateful acts upon fellow students.

Two acts stand out in my memory:

• Once when the teacher had left the room for a bit, my classmates and I managed to hang a shorter classmate from a classroom doorknob by the band of his underwear. The bigger and tougher boys grabbed him and hung him while many of us girls giggled not only at the boys doing the dirty deed, but at the poor kid grasping for all he could to get down from the door knob and away from the embarrassment.

• Even worse was the time a group of us yet-to-develop girls decided to prove a bra-wearing and seemingly better developed girl in the class stuffed her bra. We decided to do the big reveal in front of some boys just to show them that she wasn't as endowed as she seemed and they could stop ogling her and her fakery. Turned out, much to our chagrin and her traumatic embarrassment, that her breasts were indeed real.

How very, very horrible we were.

At the time, these incidents were no big deal to me despite how painful they must have been to the ones we bullied. Since then, as a mother, as a grandmother, it breaks my heart that I participated in such cruelty. I'm sincerely sorry for what I did, but apologies make no difference for the damage and hurt that was done.

Such transgressions have crossed my conscience many a time in the decades since, but they've been especially top of mind since watching the following trailer. Released in select areas in March, Bully is a movie we all should see, consider, share.

As parents and grandparents, we can't shy away from doing our part to prevent bullying and to stop bullying when we see or suspect it—especially if we once were a bully or bullied ourselves. Find more info on the Bully movie Facebook page.

Today's question:

Were you ever a bully or bullied?

The Saturday Post: Rise of the Guardians edition

Spring may have just sprung, but it's never too early for a movie lover to start making her list of must-see films for the holiday season.

The following trailer hit the Internet just this week, and it's a movie I definitely want to take Bubby to see when it comes out around Thanksgiving. (That is, I must add, as long as the yet-to-be-rated movie ends up PG or tamer; I've mentioned before my cringe-worthy experience with Bubby and a PG-13 movie.)

Movie talk aside, spring has indeed sprung. Cheers to getting outside and enjoying it!

Happy Saturday!

Now that I'm a grandma: Realization #47

I admit it: I am a prude. I use the word loosely here, not in a sexual sense. I simply mean I've become straight-laced. And I didn't used to be. I've done and said and been all kinds of things in the past that were not very prude and straight-laced at all. Some actually not so far in the past and some still presently going on.

For one, I've always considered myself a pretty rocking grandma. Hard rock is my music of choice more often than not. And I only recently quit going to rock concerts—because of economics, not age.

Plus, while I've never been a cigarette smoker, I sure as heck still enjoy alcohol on a fairly regular basis. I'm talking 7&7s, too, not some girly umbrella drink.

And swearing? I don't say the F-word myself—except when I poke myself in the eye with the mascara wand—but I have no qualms about others saying it. Well, unless, of course, it's mothers saying it in front of children, regardless of their children's age, or people who utter it only when they've downed two or ten too many margaritas, mojitos or Miller Lites. Same goes for GD when anyone says it, regardless of reason.

Yes, I admit that unless I'm around my grandkids, I show little restraint when it comes to spewing bad words, especially those that begin with S, H, D, B, or A. When writing blog posts I typically write <cuss> instead of writing the cuss word I have in mind, but in real life I can be a real potty mouth.

I'm not proud of that potty mouth nor of any other non-grandmotherly things I do. But there was always some twisted sense of pride in being able to say I'm not a prude.

Well, not anymore. Alas, I am indeed a prude.

I lately felt prudeness creeping up on me as I noticed more and more of my friends and family apologizing to me when they uttered certain utterances that typically make grandmas cringe—even if I hadn't cringed, hadn't even noticed the offense. Now, though, I know for a fact that I'm in full-blown prude status. At least when I'm in charge of my grandsons.

I realized I'd officially crossed over to Prudeville when I took Bubby to see The Adventures of TinTin. It's rated PG, so I figured it would be safe to see with my nearly four-year-old grandson. He had no problem with it but within the first five minutes, I did. I had a huge problem with it and actually considered leaving the theater. There were guns and fisticuffs and unsavory behavior from the moment the title sequence flashed across the stage. Guns, I tell you! Shooting! All being deliciously savored by my grandson, who is not allowed to have guns, not allowed to watch violence beyond what takes place in nature, like in, say, The Lion King and Jungle Book.

As Bubby smiled and swayed and reeled from gunfire and leaned over to me to say, "This is a great day and the movie is the best part, Gramma!" I sat there worrying that I was warping the sweet little boy beside me, that the gentle soul who had accompanied me into the theater would transform into the town bully when we walked out. Because of the violence I let him witness on screen.

And the drinking. Of alcohol. Oh my! One of the main characters in the movie was a drunk. A sweet drunk, but a drunk nonetheless.

I think there were actually a few swear words in the film, too. I don't remember for certain, though, as I was just too consumed watching for blood to spurt during the swashbuckling scenes (it didn't) or death to come to one or another of the bad guys who stood in TinTin's way (which it didn't). Or to the drunk, or, heaven forbid, to TinTin himself and his little dog, too. (Again, it didn't. Luckily.)

Bubby loved the movie, talked about it at length on the way home. And he didn't take aim at Baby Mac with imaginary guns or pretend to slice up Mom, Dad, or the dog with a fake sword. And he didn't chug his drink then slam down his glass as if a tankard and tell Mom "Hit me up again!" at dinner. Luckily.

Still, I felt bad, as if I'd tainted my grandchild. Which is ridiculous, I know. It was a PG movie, for heaven's sake. Megan and Preston drink alcohol. They watch violent shows on TV (after Bubby has gone to bed). They use swear words. I'd venture to say they've even let the F-word fly when little pitchers were unknowingly nearby.

It's their taste in music, though, that proved my ultimate saving grace, saved me from being the one who tainted Bubby. It also solidified for me my self-label of prude.

To wit: As Bubby and I drove home from the movie that fateful day, he shouted from the back seat "Turn it up, Gramma" when LMFAO (whom I later learned was the artist) came on the radio. He then proceeded to sing along.

And it was that very moment, as I watched Bubby in the rearview mirror popping about and singing, "Girl, look at that body...I work out!" then "Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!" that I knew I had crossed over. I had become a prude.

Bubby's wiggle dance was truly hilarious as <cuss>, but golly gee, it just seemed so wrong.

That right there, my bristling at a song that clearly made Bubby so happy, was the last straw, the final bit of proof that I've entered Prudeville.

And there's no turning back. Forget the Sexy and I Know It song. The only song this grandma will be doing the wiggle dance to is one a little more tame.

Well, at least in title. My song: I'm Prude and I Know It.

C'mon, fellow grandmas, join in! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah! We're prude and we know it.

Maybe?

(One small confession: I'm not that much of a prude because I've actually had a weird affection for the LMFAO song ever since Bubby introduced it to me with his back-seat wiggle dance. Just don't tell anyone. And I won't tell anyone if you click on that link above and listen to it over and over and develop a wiggle song all of your very own.)

The voting continues: If you liked this post—or Grandma's Briefs in general—please vote for Grandma's Briefs in the About.com Favorite Grandparent Blog poll. Vote once per day through March 21. Thank you!

Today's question:

How much of a straight-laced prude are you?

The Saturday Post: Movie mash-up double feature edition

I love a good movie-clip mash up, and this week I was treated to two of the best I've seen in quite some time.

The first came to me by way of VSL and is movie clips made into song—a song we all know and (maybe) love...and will be humming the rest of the day.

(Hello from ant1mat3rie on Vimeo.)

The second was sent to me by my friend Kate, who kindly posted it on my Facebook wall. It's a scary one and, as noted with her original post, should be watched with the lights ON. (If you don't like scary movies, scroll back up and watch "Hello" again instead. Seriously.)

Both very well done indeed!

Enjoy your Saturday...and your "Hello" earworm!

Adventures in a new dimension

Not long after being laid off from the newspaper in 2008, I started a freelance gig I called Five Buck Bits. It was a source of news briefs (briefs being my theme for some time now) for regional parenting publications, bits they could purchase from my website for $5 per bit to add to their publications, online or in print.

One of the bits I wrote regarded the appropriateness of taking youngsters to 3-D movies. In part, here is the advice from that brief:

Parents planning on taking their children to see one of the season’s popular 3-D films need to know how to determine if the kids can see 3-D, then prepare them for what will happen during a 3-D movie if they have never seen one before.

Dr. Brad Habermehl, President of the College of Optometrists in Vision Development, says many children may miss out on all the excitement if they can’t see 3-D. “Unfortunately, most parents have no idea how their children see their world, and children don’t complain if they can’t see 3-D.”

Consider the signs. Your child may not be able to see 3-D if he or she:
• is clumsy—spills milk when going down stairs, climbing play structures or avoids them all together;
• has difficulty hitting or catching pouring, trips while walking, bumps into things;
• is scared of escalators, a ball.

<snipped to shorten for this post>

If your child can see 3-D, it’s still best when a child has never seen a 3-D movie before to prepare him beforehand for what he will see. Explain to your child how with most movies the picture stays on the movie screen. But in 3-D movies, the picture will look as if it is filling the whole theater and viewers may feel like they can reach out and touch the characters. Also be sure to tell your child ahead of time that if he doesn’t like what he sees or he feels uncomfortable, he can close his eyes until he feels comfortable opening them again.

During the 3-D movie, keep an eye on your child, watching for any signs of a headache, nausea or dizziness during or shortly afterwards. ...

Because of that little brief written more than a year ago, I've been hesitant about taking Bubby to see a 3-D movie.

During his Thanksgiving visit to his paternal grandparents, though, Bubby was treated to the newest Happy Feet movie. In 3-D. And he did just fine! No headache, no nausea, no dizziness. (Although Megan did tell me that, for some reason, he decided to wear his 3-D glasses upside down the entire time.)

With the success of Bubby's first venture into 3-D, I now feel safe in taking my grandson—along with the rest of the family—to a 3-D movie while everyone is together for the Christmas holiday. This is what I'm planning for us to see:

Maybe we'll all wear our 3-D glasses upside down for the duration of the film, just to add yet another dimension to the adventure. (Except for Baby Mac, of course, whose eyes I'll likely be shielding for safety's sake.)

Today's question:

What is the first 3-D film you recall seeing?