I'll just say no

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When I was a teen, I succumbed to peer pressure far more often than I should have. I did things that weren't good for me just because "all the cool kids are doing it." Trying to fit in, trying to be like everyone else was the name of the game, just as it surely — unfortunately — is for today's youth.

When I became a mother, there was still a lot of peer pressure, but of a different sort. There was the pressure to outfit my kids in the latest fashions, keep them enrolled in and entertained by the latest and greatest activities. We rarely had the funds to pay for those fashions and fun things, so the need to do as all the cool moms were doing became less important. I couldn't afford to be like them, so I had no choice but to be myself.

As the girls reached the teen years and all the cool moms were (supposedly in some cases, literally in others) letting their kids run around without curfews, attend co-ed slumber parties or throw parties with alcohol purchased by the adults, I no longer had any desire to be like the cool moms for they didn't seem all that cool to me. I was a mean mom, or so I was told ... often. I had strict rules and high expectations for my daughters. The girls, of course, broke those rules ... often. And they fought against my expectations. It didn't change anything, though, because I purposefully made the choice to not be cool, to be myself, to do what I thought was right. For me, for mine. Regardless of pressure, be it from my peers or my kids.

Now that I'm a grandma, I'm faced with a different kind of peer pressure. Well, to be honest, it really has absolutely nothing to do with being a grandma and everything to do with being a grandma online. Yep, as someone who lives a large chunk of her life on the Internet, I'm confronted regularly by those who want me to do as they do, to follow their lead. And once again I'm doing the uncool thing: I'm just saying no.

To what am I saying no? Well, here's the list of things the cool folks, the popular folks do online that I'm resisting. Don't take offense and don't take it personally if you do these things; just take it as forewarning that I don't do these things, that I won't do these things if you ask.

Here goes. I hereby say no to:

• Passing along forwards. Whether they're cute or funny or elicit a warm fuzzy and especially if they're hate-filled or try to convince me I must send it to 10 friends in order to prosper or find true love. Forwards all get the same treatment from me: the delete button.

• Changing my Facebook profile photo to a color befitting a cause or holiday. Mostly just because I'm lazy.

• Posting or joining or following — or whatever the correct term is — a blog meme.

• Adhering to the rules of an award that requires me to list 16 personal things about myself then pressure eight of my favorite bloggers to do the same by honoring them with the same award. Awards are thoughtful ... unless they require work.

• Changing my Facebook status in support of a cause. (I'm starting to see a minor theme to my list, related to my laziness. Maybe?)

• Entering giveaways that require me to visit and comment on the sponsor's page then — optional, but for extra entries — "like" a Facebook page, follow the blogger on Twitter, and tweet and retweet until the sun rises and sets 16 times.

There are other, less frequent actions friends (and some foes) try to pressure me to take, but those above are at the top of my just-say-no list. Like I said before, don't take offense if you do any of them. I don't have a problem with you doing it, I just have a problem with me doing it. So I won't.

The great thing about peer pressure as a grandma is that it's really no pressure at all.

Excepting, of course, the pressure I felt to let you all know in advance of my just-say-no plan. Just in case you asked. Just so when I ignore your request, you won't feel slighted ... or upset ... or like you want to kick me out of the blogosphere.

(Which means, I suppose, that I still have a few minor peer-pressure issues to work out. Even as a grandma.)

Photo: stock.xchng

Today's question:

What kind of peer pressure do you resist now that you wouldn't have resisted at a younger age?

Shared pleasures and treasures

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As grandparents, I think it's important to not only explore and enjoy the interests of the grandchild — like the hours we recently dedicated to trucks, Bubby's favorite thing in the world — but also for grandparents to share their interests with the grandchild. Sharing such things strengthens the grandparent/grandchild bond as the youngster learns more about what makes his grandparents tick. Depending on the interest, it also can lead to a lifelong shared interest, shared joy.

One of my favorite things is books, so I shared plenty with Bubby while he was here. We read My Name is Not Alexander, Share With Brother, Amazon Alphabet and more, including Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, which killed two birds with one stone: my love for books and Bubby's love for trucks.

One of Jim's favorite things is coins. Collecting them, counting them, sharing them, and searching for them. With Bubby.

In our back yard, Jim buried handfuls of coins specifically for "treasure hunting" with Bubby — an activity they've enjoyed together since Bubby was able to walk. Bubby delights in unearthing the "treasures" and taking them home to add to his piggy bank.

SORRY! VIDEO DISAPPEARED IN BLOG REDESIGN!

Without a doubt, treasure hunting makes for a far more exciting slideshow than book reading might. Plus, there are only so many photos of me reading in my jammies first thing in the morning — sans makeup — and even fewer I'm willing to post for people to actually see.

Today's question:

What interest do you enjoy sharing with others?

Keep on truckin'

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I believe it's been well documented here that Bubby loves trucks. Garbage trucks, in particular. So when Nonnie Kelly (my mom, his great-grandma) came to visit him with a garbage truck gift — a garbage truck that makes noise and lights up, no less — Bubby was clearly in heaven.

He also was in heaven when he got to actually touch, not just see, the trucks PawDad had shown him during past Skype sessions.

Same goes for when he gave PawDad the monster truck he picked out himself for PawDad's birthday. The monster truck he just had to give PawDad early, before the party, because he was so excited for PawDad to play with it.

Glimpses of heaven also appeared while driving a Bubby-sized monster truck at Chuck E Cheese ...

... filling a dump truck in the back yard ...

... and building a "tower truck" all by himself for driving around Gramma's dining room.

Trucks, trucks, trucks. While Bubby was here, we played trucks, talked trucks, read about trucks, and named trucks every single time we saw one on the road, in a book, or on television. There were garbage trucks, of course, plus cement trucks, ice cream trucks, dump trucks, produce trucks, and more. Each time, we recited not only the type of truck, but what each one hauls, too.

Wednesday morning, Bubby had been gone not yet one full day when I had to take Mickey to the vet. All the truck talk was still on the brain, so I had to stop myself several times from saying to Mickey — who gives not one whit about trucks — "Look at that big one!" and "Hey, there's a yellow dump truck," and "Yay! There's a brown one!"

The brown ones were especially exciting for me to see, even without Bubby by my side, because although Bubby's favorite is garbage trucks, my favorite is the brown ones, the UPS trucks. For every single time I see one now, I will always and forever recall Bubby's enthusiasm when two UPS trucks passed by the window of a diner we ate at one evening during his visit.

"Brown ones! There's two brown ones!" he shouted as the UPS trucks slowed to a stop at the traffic light visible from our table.

"And what do the brown ones bring?" Megan asked him.

With no hesitation whatsoever, Bubby excitedly shouted, "Presents!"

Makes the shipping expenses of a long-distance grandma well worth it, I say.

Today's question:

Do you now or have you in the past owned a truck? What kind and how much did you love it?

Grilled Grandma No. 73

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I find it hard to believe I've had the opportunity to grill up seventy-three special ladies, but this week is sure enough Grilled Grandma No. 73.

You'd think that with that many grandmas answering the very same questions, their sentiments would have grown stale. That's clearly not the case as GG No. 73, a.k.a. Barbara, said something so original, so sweet and so unlike anything I've yet heard from a Grilled Grandma in response to my question of "What is the best thing about being a grandma?":

I was surprised at the initial reaction to being a grandparent helping in those first few days with the newborn baby. It was almost a primal, tribal kind of feeling. I loved that baby more than you could ever know but I found the greatest joy in putting the baby in my children's arms and watching them become a complete bonded family. The grandmother's place in the family became very clear right at the outset. It was perfect.

It is indeed joyous to see one's child create a strong, happy, bonded family of his or her own. What an amazing and heartwarming honor to have a front-row seat to witness the cycle of life in motion!

Please visit Grilled Grandma: Barbara to read Barbara's complete grilling. And be sure not to miss her "iPod-in-the-nostrils" story — proof that grandkids are indeed a goofy lot!

Today's (unrelated) question:

What material possession are you most proud of?