11 things grandmas do when no one else wants to

1. Change a stinky diaper...every stinkin' time.

2. Willingly leave the theater with the fussy baby during a family outing to a movie she's been looking forward to for three months.

3. Attempt making a birthday cake in the shape of the birthday child's favorite television or movie character despite never having seen the show. And succeed to the delight of her grandchild—thanks to Google...and Wilton cake pans.

4. Call in sick to work to cover babysitting duty when a grandchild comes down with the flu and can't go to school.

5. Be the one to give grandchildren socks, underwear and other necessities at gift-giving time. Along with other more desirable gifts, too, of course.

6. Squirt the saline solution in and suck the snot out of a little one's congested nose.

7. Rise to the occasion when a pint-sized pooper announces from another room, "I'm done...I need wiped."

8. Clean up a child's spit up—and later, the vomit—without complaining...or gagging.

9. Whip up new dinner options when the original ones are refused by a fussy toddler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we grandmas know the drill, but the poor kid can't go to bed hungry.

10. Take the baby's temperature when the digital thermometer batteries are dead and Mom has never had to do it the rectal old-fashioned way.

11. Make a grandchild's Halloween costume from scratch—and do such a bang-up job she's recruited and agrees to be costume designer for the school's annual holiday program.

photo: stock.xchng

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Today's question:

What else do grandmas do—or are expected to do—when no one else wants to?

10 things this grandma wants to know

1. How to get natural-looking, 100% gray coverage from home coloring products that promise exactly that. I've gone from brown with gray roots that have become trunks with far-reaching vines highlights to Bronco orange to not-so-orange in the past week trying to figure it out.

2. Why my grandsons seem to be sick so much more often than my daughters ever were. Why all kids nowadays seem to be sick so much more often than kids used to be.

3. What the point is of non-binding caucuses. If it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things, why waste so much time, money, effort?

4. How to succeed at growing anything in the mountain desert gardening zone in which I live. I'd like to know before I once again waste so much time, money, effort (and water!).

5. Why sometimes using the auto setting on my DSLR camera results in awesome photos and other times they look like <cuss>.

6. If a despicable, child-killing, poor excuse for a human being gets a free pass through the pearly gates simply because he asked for forgiveness in advance of his heinous act. Or in an email to his pastor. Or at the very last minute. Seriously.

7. Okay, so there are four time zones: Eastern, Central, Mountain, Pacific. If it's 9 p.m. in Eastern time zone, it's 8 p.m. in Central, 7 p.m. in Mountain, 6 p.m. in Pacific. So why do television programs advertised as being on at "9 p.m. Eastern/8 Central" play at 8 p.m. in the Mountain time zone?

8. I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. Okay, not really. I know that one, but how could I resist? (Resist what? you ask? Ummm...referring to this...from Foreigner, not Mariah.)

9. Why the marijuana legalization issue is an issue at all when (legal!) alcohol has ruined far more lives and killed far more people than marijuana ever will.

10. Why this silly little family won't move closer to Gramma: 

Well, I do know the answer to that one. And I respect it. But it can't hurt to ask again.

This post linked to Grandparent's Say It Saturday.

Today's question:

What do you want to know?

7 perfect things: My week in review

I have a tendency to focus on things that need improvement, ways I need to be better to make my life better. Not today, though. Today I'm taking a different tack and focusing on ways my life is already pretty darn good. Perfect, in fact—at least this past week, at least in these seven ways:

My bed sheets. I love my sheets. Don't ask me the thread count because I have no idea. I just know that each time I've pulled back my comforter this week, the color (a dusty purple of sorts) and the comfort when I climb in warms my heart.

Bedside stack o' books. I read before falling asleep, and my current "to read" stack is one of the best I've had in a while. Featured: The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman; Life Itself by Roger Ebert; Freedom by Jonathan Franzen; Labor Day by Joyce Maynard. Now if I could just stay awake long enough to get through the two I currently have in process—non-fiction courtesy Connie Schultz and fiction from Amy Hatvany—so I could delve into that stack. (Must be the afore-mentioned bed sheets sending me straight to slumber.)

Jim's continued support of my non-traditional career choice. My husband is my No. 1 fan and that helps in more ways than I usually tell him. Especially during times...<clears throat>...like this week....when I consider throwing in the towel and getting an office job.

Alcatraz. The new series featuring Hurley, er, Jorge Garcia and produced by Mr. Lost himself (J.J. Abrams for those who didn't succumb to Lost) premiered this week. It was thoroughly enjoyable, intriguing, and indicative of good things to come.

Clementines & kiwis. This week's bowl of fruit has been especially sweet. And perfect.

My new camera. I've not yet perfected even the smallest degree of its functions and potential, but the camera itself is perfect, and I'm so pleased with what I've been able to do with it so far, including the one above of Wednesday's sunset.

"The Sweetheart" jeans from Old Navy. Sure, they're hand-me-downs from Megan when she started losing all her weight, but they're broken in, they're soft, they're comfy as <cuss>. I love these jeans. And I think I look pretty darn okay in them to boot.

Today's question:

What was perfect for you this past week?

11 things I learned last year

No. 6: Two grandsons are better than one.

1. How to make salmon, cut mango, appreciate the delights of a boldly flavored balsamic vinegar.

2. Every once in a while hype is well warranted. Case in point: Adele.

3. The older I get, the more unbidden kindness and consideration matters, makes a difference.

4. My black thumb is apparently permanently tattooed that color and will never transform into green. (Though I'll surely give transformation yet another attempt this year.)

5. Despite the complaints and bad press, I'm unashamed to admit I love Netflix. Especially instant streaming for without it, I'd never know the thrills, chills, and chuckles of Friday Night Lights, Sons of Anarchy, Nativity!.

6. Two grandsons are indeed double the fun, double the pleasure of one and two of my life's greatest pleasures day in, day out, whether I see them or not.

7. Although decades removed from the drama and trauma of the teen years, mid-life friendships are still fickle affairs. Some flounder and fade for reasons unclear, while others grow and glow brighter than ever—also for reasons unclear yet much appreciated.

8. Committing yourself to fulfilling your heart's desire is worth far more than money. Most of the time.

9. Less really isn't more, it's still less—especially when it comes to having. But it's manageable, survivable, easier than previously believed.

10. There are benefits to having less, though: It highlights the abundance of blessings remaining for which to be endlessly grateful: a loving family, a welcoming home, continued co-pay assistance.

11. Those things that go bump in the night at my house really are just my boogedy boiler. (Or so I keep telling myself...and my houseguests.)

Today's question:

What did you learn last year?

It goes on and on, my friend

I placed the last of our Christmas decorations on Friday, setting out all the Santas, the last of the village, the table centerpiece, and the kitschy this and that that goes here and there. The holiday decorating was done.

Or so I thought.

As Jim and I pulled into the driveway after church yesterday, he said, "Ya know, I'd really like to put some white lights in the trees out front." To which I agreed...and thought of all the other decorative things I'd like to do to in order to crown our home sufficiently Christmas-y before Bubby, Baby Mac and their parents arrive on Christmas Day.

So much for being done. Just like the song, holiday decorating doesn't end.

Song? What song? you may ask. I'm talking about the following little earworm ditty, which you may recall with much disdain after just one bar or so:

Like holiday decorating and that obnoxious song, there are plenty more things that never end—some good, some bad, some just the way it is:

• Watching one's weight. You may watch it go up, you may watch it go down. But always, it's watched...often with much trepidation...especially around the holidays...especially if you can't stop eating those <cuss> Ferrera Rocher. (Not that I have been; I'm just saying.)

• Yard work. Spring, summer, fall, winter, there's always—always—more to do in yards front, back, and side.

• Home improvement. There's always—always—something else that needs repairing, replacing, remodeling, repainting, recaulking, redoing.

• Learning. You can always be smarter.

• Self improvement. You can always be more emotionally stable better.

• Grocery shopping. You may think you're done...only to realize you forgot something. Even if you do get every single thing on your list, you're not done and will have to go back again. Maybe the next day, maybe the next week, but you will have to go back. The most dreaded chore of all truly is Never. Ever. Done.

• Parenting. It never ends. I scoff at those who look (or looked) forward to that magical age of 18, when the child supposedly becomes an adult, leaves home, no longer needs you. Yes, I scoff...and chuckle...and await the cries of "Why didn't you tell me it never ends?" Well, those of you with youngsters, I'm telling you now: It never ends!

• Grandparenting. I'm assuming on this one as I'm still fairly close to the starting line, but I'm figuring it's much like parenting: There is no finish line. And that's a good thing.

• Aging. And that's a good thing, too—at least considering the alternative.

I could go on and on, my friends, as I have no doubt this list itself is a list that doesn't end.

There is one thing that does indeed end, though, and that's my time allotted for writing this post. So consider this The End.

(Oh, one more thing: Enjoy your earworm. No matter how hard you try, the replaying of that song doesn't end. It will be stuck in your head all day. You're welcome.)

Today's question:

What would you add to the List of Things That Never End?