My addiction: The first step

They say the first step in overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem.

Well, I have a problem.

I'm addicted to books.

Here's proof—my rows upon rows, shelves upon shelves of books:

No, those aren't duplicates. I do indeed have that many books, that many bookcases and hiding places.

And no, I've not read them all. Most, but not all. I'm not addicted to reading them, just accumulating them.

I have no idea what the second step is, but I have a feeling it's not gonna be easy.

Today's question:

What is your addiction?

Olivia

Author and illustrator Ian Falconer has created a beloved picture book character named Olivia. She's a pig. A delightful pig who stars in a series of picture books.

Olivia does all kinds of things that capture the imaginations of pint-sized readers (and their parents) such as forming a band, going to Venice, saving the circus, and more. The ever-charming Olivia has earned Caldecott honors for her creator.

Bubby loves Olivia.

I tell you that not as a review of the Olivia series in any way. I tell you that because Bubby got a new babysitter.

And her name is Olivia.

And Bubby was thrilled by the news! He thought Olivia—the pig!—would be coming to his house to watch over him and Baby Mac while Mommy was away.

Of course, Mommy had to ruin the fun by explaining the reality of the situation to Bubby. Olivia, the new sitter and the first Bubby would have outside of family and friends, was a high-school girl. Not a pig.

So, once Olivia—the girl—arrived for duty, introductions were made, and Mommy spent some time acquainting Olivia with Bubby, with Baby Mac.

Then Mommy was out the door for her tennis lesson.

When Mommy returned, all reports were great.

Olivia loved Bubby. Olivia loved Baby Mac.

(Although, how could she not, with charges as precious as Gramma's favorite little TV watchers.)

And everyone loved her back:

Megan loved Olivia.

Baby Mac loved Olivia.

Best of all, Bubby loved Olivia.

Even though she's not a pig.

Olivia graphic courtesy Simon & Shuster.

Today's question:

How old were you when you started making money as a babysitter?

Please read

Please read. Not just this post, but in general: Please read.

I'm a site coordinator for the local children's literacy center. I've spent the last two weeks struggling to match far too few—yet much appreciated—volunteer reading tutors with far too many students in overwhelming, unbelievable need.

Perhaps there wouldn't be such a need, may not be so many children lagging behind in the very most basic, very most important of skills, if more people would please be a model...if more people would please take the lead...if more people would please read.

Please read with your grandchildren, children, nieces, nephews, with any child in need.

Please read to youngsters and with youngsters, no matter their age.

Please read story books, chapter books, comics, graphic novels. Please read novels, poems, riddles, jokes.

Please read road signs and maps and plaques on the places you go.

Please read recipes, cereal boxes, soda cans, milk cartons. Please read chip bags, price tags and labels throughout the grocery store, throughout any store.

Please read television shows—turn the closed-captioning on then read. Together.

Please read movies, too—subtitled movies!

Please read calendars, and websites, and text messages. Please read gift cards, bulletin boards, ads, and restaurant menus.

Please read game directions, game boards, game controllers. Please read instructions for building, instructions for creating, instructions for taking apart.

Please read newspapers, magazines, e-mail, real mail, junk mail, mailboxes.

Please read programs...from school, from plays, from church, from sporting events.

Please read rosters, billboards, scoreboards.

Please read. Anything. Everything. Together.

Please read.

Today's question:

Other than this post, what have you most recently read, by yourself or with another?

Lazy days and books

I've always been annoyed intrigued by the articles and trite phrases surrounding the idea of "the lazy days of summer." Summer days have never been lazy in my world, not when the nest was full, not now that it's empty. In fact, my summer days are actually far more busy than the winter ones.

One of the craziest of the lazy-day ideas, in my opinion, is that with summer stretched out before us, featuring long, glorious, sun-filled days with no schedule or agenda, we're ripe for doing nothing but lounging around with a book in hand from sun up to sun down. Doesn't happen. At least not for me. (C'mon, does it really happen for anyone?) But if I did have lazy summer days and nothing more to do than knock out a few books in the time from Memorial Day to Labor Day, these are the books I would love to include in this summer's stack:

The Help by Kathryn Stockett — I gotta get this read before seeing the movie! (Thanks, Mom, for the loaner.)

The Soldier's Wife by Margaret Leroy — My oldest friend (in terms of time) and I used to share books and recommendations when we worked together. This is one we both have, both plan to read soon.

Emma by Jane Austen — Find out why this is on my list HERE.

The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb by Melanie Benjamin — How can anyone resist a title like that?

The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross — Emotionally wrought memoirs of screwed up childhoods are one of my favorite genres. I kid you not. And this one seems to be a doozy. I can't wait.

I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron — I got this book when it very first came out...and still have not read it. I will, I will. This summer. I hope!

The Twisted Thread by Charlotte Bacon — Compared to Donna Tartt's Secret History? I am so there!

Don't Breathe A Word by Jennifer McMahon — Fairies, and ghosts, and other supernatural things, oh my. Plus a protagonist named Lisa, of all things.

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult — Yeah, she's gotten rather formulaic. But I just gotta give her one more chance. And it came with a CD of songs for which she wrote the lyrics (which I haven't yet listened to...but will...when I read the book).

To say in the intro of this post that I would love to have these books in my summer stack is silly...and misleading. Because they are in my stack. Already. Every one of them. Except the tale of Mrs. Tom Thumb. But with a birthday just around the corner, ya just never know what might turn up.

Note: None of the links above are affiliate links. Amazon.com won't do affiliate business with Colorado residents, so these links are to the publishers or authors and are for your edification only, just because I'm nice like that.

Photo: stock.xchng/juliaf

Today's question:

What books are on your summer-reading wish list?

5 books and boredom busters

Summer will soon be in full swing, which means grandmas, moms, aunts and others will likely have more time with the kids. And likely more time for kids to complain of being bored. That also means, though, that you have more opportunities to wow the wee ones and combat those unnerving "I'm bored" complaints.

Here are a few ideas for preventing the boredom blues, featuring one of my favorite things: books. Try them out on your summer charges, let me know how it goes, and feel free to share in the comments any boredom busters you might have up your sleeve.

Book: Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site by Sherri Dusky Rinker. Cement Mixer, Excavator, Dump Truck and more all work oh-so hard during the day then tuck themselves in at night, resting up for the next day's work. Bubby loved this picture book featuring some of his all-time favorite trucks.

Boredom buster: Take a trip to a nearby construction site to watch (from afar) the work vehicles doing their jobs. Younger kids may want to bring along their toy trucks of a similar sort; older kids may enjoy having a pair of binoculars on hand to get an up-close look at the action.

Book: There's a Dragon in the Library by Dianne de Las Casas. This clever tale tells of Max and his visions of a dragon during story time at the library. Is there really a dragon in the library or is it just his imagination? And how can he convince Mom, the librarians and Officer Riley that there really is a dragon in the library.

Boredom buster: Head to the library, of course, and seek out books about dragons, along with any others of interest to youngsters in tow. While there — or, better yet, before going — find out what activities are lined up at the library, where summer programs for kids are often a highlight of summer. They sure were for my girls when they were young.

Book: Amazon Alphabet by Johnette Downing. This colorful adventure takes kids of all ages from A to Z through the Amazon, introducing familiar folk such as frogs and jaguars, as well as the unfamiliar including the caiman and quetzal. Facts and features accompany each alphabetic selection.

Boredom buster: Zoo time! Many zoos have an Amazon Rainforest feature where kids can enjoy an A-to-Z scavenger hunt of things featured in the book. If your local zoo doesn't have such an exhibit, enjoy an A-to-Z hunt of other animals. If schedules, weather, or budgets nix a zoo visit, use the pictures in the book as inspiration for drawing Amazon animals for creating your own rainforest in your backyard or home.

Book: Grandma's Bag of Tricks: Toad Cottages & Shooting Stars by Sharon Lovejoy. This book truly isn't just for grandma's as it comes in quite handy for anyone looking for activities for kids. With an older child, peruse the awesome options for fun, from restaurant night at home, to pinecone bird feeders, to fairy tea parties, tin-can bands and more. For little ones, pick and choose any of the many perfect for toddlers.

Boredom buster: Not too hard to figure this one out as there are more than 130 activities to choose from. The hard part is making a choice. Consider having the child make a list of the ones you want to tackle together throughout the summer or a visit. 

Book: Meet Einstein by Mariela Kleiner. This book may be designated as for youngsters ages 2-4, but it's a safe bet that older kids will appreciate the straightforward introduction to one of the all-time great scientists. In addition to the story, the inside front and back covers include a pictorial rundown of all the tools needed for scientific exploration: goggles, beakers, nets for catching butterflies, gloves to "protect my fingers from sticky and icky things," and more.

Boredom buster: The book outlines some of Einstein's great scientific discoveries related to light and gravity. Come up with a few experiments involving light — using flashlights, lightbulbs, fire, rainbows — and gravity — any manner of things that go up then come down (spills, jumping in the air) or go up but don't come down (balloons, kites). As the book notes, even preschoolers can grasp the concepts of light and gravity. "Help them make the connection in everything they see and do, and teach them that science is all around them."

Good to know: Clicking on the book covers will provide more information on the books. They are NOT affiliate links, and I earn nothing by you clicking on them. And in the interest of full disclosure, I purchased the Toad Cottages and Construction Site books myself; the others were sent to me for free by the publishers, with no obligation to review or write about them and no compensation for doing so.

Today's question:

Fill in the blank: When I get bored, I ___________________.

Perspective

Like many folks, I’ve faced a fair share of challenges the past couple of years due to the economic mess we’re plodding our way through. I’ve also had a few other challenges and disappointments, many related to family situations, writing failures, and having a big ol’ chunk of my heart residing 815 miles away with my daughter and grandson.

I worry and whine about my woes. Often. More often than I should. Which has been made quite clear to me by a young girl I recently met. Her name is Blessing, and she lives a life far more challenging than mine, with hardships that make my complaints pale in comparison.

Blessing is 12 years old. She lives with her mother and older brother — and umpteen cousins and others — at her grandparents’ shack of a home in Nigeria, after her father deserted the family. Blessing is wise beyond her years, she's tenacious in the face of upheaval, and she's fiercely loyal to her brother.

She’s also not real.

Blessing is the narrator of the absorbing coming-of-age novel I’m currently reading called Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away by Christie Watson. And though she isn’t real, the daily hardships she endures as an adolescent girl in Nigeria are. Fictional Blessing and factual residents of contemporary Nigeria provide a much-needed perspective to my perceived hardships and force me to reconsider pity parties I’ve conducted in the name of my plight.

I whine about having to cut back on groceries and dining out because of a tightened budget. Blessing and her family eat fish stew, stretched with water to feed all the hungry mouths of those sharing their ramshackle home. In addition, yams — one of the few foods I hate — are a staple of their diet, and all meats must be fried to kill the parasites they carry.

I lament not having the funds to spruce up and newly accessorize my bathroom. Blessing has no bathroom, uses an outhouse or a hole in the ground used by all the others in her family. She also has no running water and no electricity.

I complain about having to dust, vacuum, sweep, and clean the cat box. Blessing must collect water in town and carry it home in a bucket balanced on her head.

I bemoan the unsavory parts of my job, listen to Jim and the girls do the same regarding theirs. Blessing is forced to learn and practice the midwifery trade from her grandmother — at 12 years old! One of the other women living with her family has a job as a professional mourner at funerals. Both are happy to have the work, the meager wages that help keep the family fed.

I stress over the usual pains and occasional procedures endured by my loved ones and myself. Blessing fears daily for her brother’s life because of asthma and allergies that wrack his body, made worse by limited money for medication, limited access to appropriate foods, and limited (or nonexistent) sanitation.

I lament needing to lock the doors every night because of increased crime in our neighborhood. Blessing and her family are surrounded every day by crime and violence by way of corrupt officials, warring tribes, and renegades trolling for random victims as well as new recruits.

It’s a hard life for Blessing. It’s an even more difficult one for Blessing’s real-life counterparts, those not populating the pages of a novel but daily traversing the difficult, often undignified — and often fatal — road of contemporary Nigeria’s reality. A road that makes mine look thoroughly blessed and bountiful in comparison.

I’ve not yet finished reading Blessing’s powerful story, I don’t know how it all ends. But I sincerely hope it’s a happy ending for the young heroine and her family. She deserves that. Because although Blessing isn’t real, the positive difference she’s made in my attitude and my outlook is. For real.

Disclosure: I received a free copy of Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away by Christie Watson from the publisher as part of the From Left To Write Book Club, where members write blog posts inspired by books read by club members.

Today's question:

What fictional character has impacted your life?

Please step aside, ma'am

My pretty teen daughters — June 2003I recently started reading "29" by Adena Halpern. It's the story of Ellie, who, on her 75th birthday, wished while blowing out the candles on her cake to be 29 years old again — and was magically granted the wish.

I've so far enjoyed the amusing story of the cantankerous grandma made young again and her exploits with her 29-year-old granddaughter and 55-year-old daughter.

Ellie's desire to be young and attractive like her granddaughter reminded me of the pivotal incident that led me to realize I was getting old. Or at least deemed an older woman in the eyes of others and involuntarily required to step back as a female garnering male attention and watch as my daughters moved forward.

Yes, it was one incident, several years ago, during what would have been an otherwise ordinary trip to the grocery store.

Now, let me first say that I would never claim to be ravishing, a head turner, one hot mama, or any one of a million adjectives describing a gorgeous woman. Yet I admit to getting a fair share of looks from males throughout the years, as most females of a certain age do. It was never a big deal, nothing I put much stock in. Until I was no longer that certain age, until I witnessed in one fell swoop the move of male attention from me to my daughters and remain that way going forward.

On the day of which I write, one of my teen daughters and I ran into the grocery store to pick up a few things. As we reached the register, I expected cheerful banter with the cashier, a man in his mid-30s. So I opened my mouth, about to say, "How are you today?" But he looked right past me ... and started up the "Did you find everything you need?" conversation with my daughter. It was as if I wasn't even there, except for a cursory glance my way when it was time to pay.

The cashier, clearly closer to my age than my daughter's, didn't talk to her in any smarmy way that had me pegging him a pedophile and wanting to rush my little girl out of there. No, he was simply interacting with who he apparently considered the most vibrant, most conversational of the two customers before him. My daughter pleasantly rose to the occasion; I stepped aside.

It was the first time I'd experienced such an obvious shift — outside of the times I'd watched boys in their teens and early 20s fumble to impress one daughter or another while conducting business with mother and daughter(s), times that don't count. But from then on, it was the norm when in public together, be it dining out at a restaurant, attending performances, shopping in the mall. No matter which daughter was with me, my daughter was the one males smiled at, struck up conversation with, held a gleam in their eyes for. Eyes that dulled when they turned to me to take my order, my ticket, my money. No matter the male's age, no matter the reason for interaction.

I didn't cry over the matter, harbor ill will or animosity. I honestly was okay with the transition from front and center to a supporting role. My lovely, vivacious daughters were coming into their own, and the attention, well, most of the attention wasn't sexual or predatory in any way. (There are always a few creeps outside the norm, of course.) So I didn't mind stepping aside, didn't mind watching my daughters shine. I just found it interesting. And surprising. I always thought age crept up on you, as is the case with crow's feet, hot flashes, and inability to read past 9 p.m. at night without falling asleep. This, though, was sudden, immediate. And it caught me off guard.

I was — and am — completely and wholeheartedly accepting of my age, of the need to step aside. Funny thing, though: Now, years later, I've started noticing more and more looks coming my way. It's surely — and thankfully — not because I'm some cougar in the making.

No, I'm pretty much chalking up the increased attention to the ever-increasing, ever-impossible-to-conceal collection of age spots unattractively converging across my face. It's understandably difficult to tear one's gaze away from the artful display.

Just one more aspect of aging that has caught me off guard. One more I'll surely, eventually, come to terms with.

Disclosure: I received a copy of "29" by Adena Halpern free from the publisher for participation in the From Left to Write book club, with no obligation and no compensation for this post.

Today's question:

If you could magically be 29 again, would you want to be or not? Why?

Ramble on

Nothing incredibly profound here today, just a few of the ramblings rumbling 'round my noggin:

• Bubby has been honing his sense of humor and it's an unending pleasure to witness. Tuesday night's Skype session included Bubby telling PawDad and me the name of his soon-to-arrive brother. He got Mommy's goat by insisting again and again ... and again ... that the baby's name is Bubba. Yep, BUBBA. He giggled gloriously throughout the entire tease.

• One of the hazards of not working a regular job is the lack of face time with a calendar. With several physical therapy appointments scheduled with two different therapists -- appointments written on the calendar -- it's possible for one to think they have an appointment and show up for it only to be told that particular appointment is actually the following week. Same day, same time, just the next week. Trust me, it can happen. And did. To me. Yesterday.

• I just don't have it in me to Twitter and tweet enough to raise my Klout score. Tell me, do I really need Klout?

• Speaking of Ramble On, it used to be that Led Zeppelin rarely -- if ever -- granted permission for their songs to be used in movies and such. In the last few weeks, Jim and I have heard Zeppelin several times in the background (or foreground) in movies and television shows. The Beatles on iTunes, Zeppelin on soundtracks ... sheesh, what's the world coming to?

• Ever wonder how the real Christopher Robin Milne felt about being the model for Christopher Robin in his father's Winnie-the-Pooh books? Probably much like fictional Luke Hayman did serving as the model for the even more fictional Luke Hayseed of "The Hayseed Chronicles" series in Mr. Toppit by Charles Elton, the book I most recently finished ... and enjoyed immensely.

• If you have money to spare and decide to purchase a few domain names from GoDaddy in hopes of later selling those domains for a pretty price, be sure to set the renewal option to "manual" so domains you haven't sold and no longer want don't renew automatically at a time when you no longer have money to spare. Trust me, it can happen. And did. To me. Yesterday. At a time when I no longer have money to spare. To the tune of $172.

• As I mentally prepare for the next semester as site coordinator for the Children's Literacy Center, I think about all the 7-pound-3-ounce curriculum books (true weight each, per my postage scale) I need to move from one site to another. Light bulb moment: I realize that it was after moving a bucket of 10 from the site to my garage at the end of the last session that the pain in my back intensified, initiating my call to the physical therapist. Light bulb moment #2: Mickey wasn't the sole cause of my current disc issues after all. So I hereby publicly apologize to Mickey for blaming him and calling him a cusshead. (But ... if he hadn't freaked in the face of the deer, my back likely would have been okay lugging the books. Maybe.)

• Which reminds me: An apology followed by a but is no apology at all. So amend that apology to "I'm sorry, Mickey, for placing all the blame for my cussed-up back on you."

• Where oh where is the humor in the fact after 20 years of writing picture-book manuscripts I finally, finally, finally get an agent for those books ... just as the death knell inarguably begins ringing for the picture-book market? There is no humor in it. Trust me.

• Three weeks from today I'll be flying to the desert to babysit Bubby for a few days while Mommy and Daddy attend a convention in California. The anticipation has addled my brain, rendering me incapable of formulating a coherent and cohesive post consisting of anything more than bulleted ramblings. I'll try again tomorrow.

Today's question:

What's at the top of your list of Thursday thoughts, rambles, rants?

Update

on 2011-01-13 20:10 by Lisa Carpenter

UPDATE on GoDaddy charge: Woo-hoo! I sucked it up, called GoDaddy and told them I'm stupid, and a wonderfully nice man named Bill told me "GoDaddy will take care of you" and reversed the $172.44! Yeah! GoDaddy rocks!

ARE the kids all right?

Over the weekend, I finished reading The Kids Are All Right by Diana and Liz Welch, with Amanda and Dan Welch. The memoir, in which the four Welch siblings take turns writing chapters, tells the poignant, often heartbreaking story of their once-normal childhood turned upside down by the deaths of their beloved parents: first their father in a car accident, then their mother of cancer.

Many of the chapters scrunched up my heart and made me wonder, as The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls did, how children come through such things and grow into seemingly whole, functional, successful adults.

One chapter in particular gave me pause, stopped my heart, brought tears to my eyes. Not wholly out of sympathy for the Welch kids, though, but because it rang eerily similar to an incident from my childhood.

Soon after the death of their father, the Welch children's mother encouraged a relationship between Amanda, the eldest daughter, and a young man named Duncan. Mom hoped a masculine presence would be good for her son, Dan, so she was pleased with the progression of the budding romance between Amanda and Duncan as it led to Duncan's regular visits to their home.

One night while Amanda, Duncan and Liz, the second oldest sibling, shopped for groceries, Duncan shockingly professed to Liz his love for her while Amanda was in another aisle. Once home with the groceries, he continued elaborating on the inappropriate confession to Liz, cornering the young girl in the pantry and asking her to make it "their secret." Instead, the scared Liz told Mom. Mom immediately banished Duncan from the family, leaving Liz to worry that Amanda would blame her, hate her.

When Amanda learned of Duncan's come-on to her sister, though, all she said was, "What a jerk." No anger, no disappointment ... at least not toward Liz. She renounced Duncan. She stood by her sister.

When I was 13 years old, my parents were divorced and I occasionally stayed with my dad. My younger siblings did the same; my older sister much more sporadically.

Once when I spent the weekend at Dad's, my older sister and her even older boyfriend returned from a night of partying and climbed the stairs to where our bedrooms and a bathroom were. My sister headed into the bathroom; her boyfriend headed into my bed. He aggressively snuggled up to me, trying to climb on top of me.

As I woke from my deep sleep and grasped what was going on and the danger I was in, I pushed and kicked at the boyfriend, trying to get him away from me and out of my bed. My sister emerged from the bathroom, heard the rustling and came into my dark room. She turned on the light, saw her creepy boyfriend in my bed and started screaming and screaming -- at me. In her drunkenness and insecurity, my older sister thought I had somehow lured her boyfriend into the compromising position, was somehow trying to steal him away from her. The vitriol spewed from her drunken mouth ... and continued for weeks.

My sister was mad at me -- stayed mad at me -- instead of being mad at the jerk she'd unknowingly stopped just short of molesting her little sister.

I often wonder how different things might have been if my sister hadn't come into the room just in the nick of time.

And I often wonder how different things might have been -- for both of us -- if my sister had done like Amanda in The Kids Are All Right, if she had renounced the inappropriate lout and stood by her scared little sister.

Disclosure: I received a FREE copy of The Kids Are All Right from the publisher for participation in the From Left To Write book club.

Today's question:

How would you describe your relationship with your siblings?

9 books I own - but won't read

I may have mentioned a time or two that I have an addiction ... to books. I buy them, collect them, ask for them as gifts, eagerly request them for reviewing.

Unfortunately I don't read them ... at least not at a rate equal to the rate at which they fill up my shelves.

I do plan to read them eventually. At least most of them.

Here, though, are nine books I own that I've not read. Nine books I likely never will read. Nine books I can't get rid of ... simply because they're old and I like the way they look on my shelf ... even unread.

(Call me shallow, if you wish; you're probably right.)

1. The Complete Plays and Poems of William Shakespeare edited by William Allan Neilson and Charles Jarvis Hill (1942)

2. A Treasury of American Folklore edited by B.A. Botkin with a foreward by Carl Sandburg (1951)

3. The Philosophy of Man by Henri Renard, S.J. (1948)

4. Home Geography by C.C. Long (1894)

5. Guilderoy by Ouida (1903)

6. Phonology and Orthoepy by Albert Salisbury (1907)

7. The Lost Prince by Frances Hodgson Burnett (1915)

8. Lorna Doone by R.D. Blackmore (1906)

9. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell (1964)

Those aren't the only unread oldies on my shelf; there are plenty more (e.g. Character Reading for Fun and Popularity). But because I like to make list posts that contain 9 things, those are all I'm sharing this time around.

Today's question:

What book(s) do you own that you've not read and possibly never will?