Grilled Grandma: Debra

How many children do you have? I have three sons.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have 1 grandson by birth ( my middle son’s child ) and his older sister became part of our family as well. So….two. Brent and Kate.

My son has joked in the past that it was the ‘buy one get one free’ program!

What do your grandchildren call you? Sometimes they call me "Oma" and sometimes "Grandma."

When Brent was younger, I was "Oma" and the other grandma was "Mamaw" or some variation of that. "Oma" is German for Grandmother and I had initially gotten Kate to start calling me that, since she called her "real" grandmother "Grandma."

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? Well, my son was in Iraq during the mama’s pregnancy so that was not easy…I was always worried about him. Other than that, after getting over the first shock in regards to becoming a grandmother, I was becoming excited.

In the end, my grandson Brent was named after a wonderful soldier who had died in Iraq. I posted about him, Brent Adams, on my blog on Memorial Day.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? I see Brent almost every weekend. Sometimes I have both Brent and Kate. (Oftentimes, Kate’s Grandmother will just have her for girl time on the weekend, so generally I see Brent a bit more) Both parents work shifts and often on the weekends, so there are rarely “visits” ; rather there is babysitting duty ! My son’s father, Brent’s “Pappy” is retired and he pulls some hard shifts. Sometimes the mama has to open her Starbucks store, and she must be there by 4:00 a.m. I get off easy compared to him, that’s for sure. I have to make sure to never retire….

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Ha ha well you know that old adage about being able to give them back is true : ) Seriously, though…when that baby is born your heart just melts and you fall in love in the same way that you did when your children were born. This time around it is like a double delight: MY child produced THIS child…..just sheer wonder and blessedness all over again.

And the cuddling….I will miss that as they grow older.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Worry. Don’t fall down the steps, don’t fall down those other steps, don’t touch the stove, don’t choke on this, and don’t fall off the chair. PLEASE don’t have some horrible accident while I am babysitting you for your parents…don’t don’t don’t!

Now I am laughing because I remember a time that I’d watched Brent for most of a day and worried about falls etc. He was about 1 1/2 years old. At the end of the day he had a temper tantrum melt down and threw himself on to the floor and banged his head on purpose! I looked at him in dismay! I had kept him safe ALL DAY and now he was going home to his mama with a little boo boo mark on his head.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. They always make me laugh but an ongoing thing with Brent is that I kept his 2 year old birthday video on my phone. He loves to watch it and he blows out the candles with himself (with his phone-self).

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Watch them sleep after they wore me out all day! Seriously, one thing that they love to do is that if they are over on the weekend and I’ve washed my bedding and am putting fresh sheets on, they love to help. They love having the sheets billow out and help to pull up and arrange the bedspread etc. THEN once it is all made, they hop in and hide under the covers and we have tickle and monster games and they scream and laugh.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Kate’s grandfather had purchased a large bean bag (covered in some sort of soft material, just like a piece of furniture) years ago. Naturally being thrown or dropped into this is their favorite activity there.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? I see them most weekends. Sometimes I am able to work from home and might have them for a bit during the week, or occasionally stop there on lunch break or after work

Grilled Grandma: Judy

How many children do you have? I have one exceptional daughter who is a great wife and mother, gourmet chef, writer, and animal tender and gardener. She was a child to be proud of and is now an adult that I respect immensely.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have two grandchildren. My granddaughter is a beautiful eleven-year old young lady who loves animals especially horses, science, history and books of all kinds, likes to draw and paint, and is a good big sister. My grandson is a handsome six and loves to play basketball, is a math and video game wiz, has a unique curiosity that enables him to be an exceptional problem solver, and he loves his big sister.

Any great grandchildren? No

What do your grandchildren call you? Mam—Grandma just kind of came out as Mam when my granddaughter was little, and it stuck.

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? When I was a child, I spent every school vacation and entire summers with my grandparents in Landaff, New Hampshire on their farm—Brookside Farm. In my mother's absence on these extended stays, my grandparents freely gave their time and love to me. I wondered if my grandchildren would look back on their childhood with such fond memories of me. My grandparents were great role models, and I think of them every time I'm asked to stop what I'm doing and play something, push a swing, or change batteries in their Power Wheels.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? With very few exceptions, I see them almost every day. We have a small farm with three generations working to produce food from our large vegetable gardens, eggs from our chicken flock, milk from the Dwarf Nigerian Goats, and fiber for spinning from the French Angora Rabbit. We also have six large perennial cottage flower gardens to maintain. So, with all this farm activity going on, we normally are all out doing chores or projects together.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? The very best thing about being a grandma is getting a nice, warm hug from one of them and enjoying good laughs as we have adventures together. Money is a requirement of society, but it can't buy two little warm arms wrapped around your neck telling you s/he loves you.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Hands down the job of being a grandma is the best job in the world. There are issues in the world though that affect your grandchildren and create challenges for them, which in turn affect you. For instance, we deal with a couple of chronic medical issues that don't affect what they can do but it affects how they go about their day. My granddaughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when she was in first grade. Type 1 Diabetes is when your pancreas stops producing insulin. Currently there is no ‘cure’ for Type 1 Diabetes so injections of insulin, either through shots or insulin pump, are needed throughout the day to balance your food intake. My grandson was diagnosed around the same time with food allergies (peanut, tree nut and shellfish). If I could take that on for them so they would not have to deal with it, I certainly would. Since I can't do that, I try to be knowledgeable and supportive and help them have a happy but safe time when we are together. A couple of years ago, we purchased a Travel Trailer so we could go camping. Camping allows us to provide all the things needed to count carbohydrates, weigh food, and check all ingredient lists to have a wonderful adventure but keep everyone safe and healthy.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. I have to say I laugh out loud several times every day with one of them. My grandson loves to talk trash when he is playing basketball. It is pretty funny to see this little six-year old playing in-your-face basketball and verbally challenging his older sister or an adult to bring it on. My granddaughter is always dreaming up things to do when they are outside. Once we took an old baby sled and attached it to a garden seat with wheels I didn’t use any more, and she made a vehicle to zoom down the driveway.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Outside we do a lot of gardening together which may include many stops for play time like creating something, doing a scientific project, swinging on their tree swing, building an insect hotel or fairy house, or just walking around checking our many fruit trees and bushes in the yard. Living on a small farm, you come to appreciate some of the simpler things in life like taking your lunch outside to eat at a picnic table under a shade tree while listening to the birds sing, chickens cluck, goats bleat, and kids laugh. Inside, we play games, watch a show together, do a craft, or bake cookies.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? When we visit them at their house, we usually play board games and look at things they have done or gotten since the last time we visited their house. My granddaughter is always willing to share her beloved American Girl dolls, current book she is reading or music she is enjoying. My grandson has games of all types to play.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? I'm one of the luckiest grandmas in the world because I get to see my grandchildren almost every day. I know several grandmas who live long distances from their grandchildren and have to work through that challenge. My grandchildren love to get mail—cards, letters or magazines. I pay for magazine subscriptions to World Wildlife for them, and they love getting those magazines in the mail and then telling me all about the content.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? Because my grandchildren deal with medical challenges, they have learned early in life what is important to be concerned about and what is not so important. If they remember that, they will continue to be the strong, confident, intelligent, kind-hearted people that they are currently. Because of dealing with the realities of life so early, they are wise beyond their years and that will serve them well as they mature and grow. I learn as much from them as they do from me.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Love. I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them. They both know that all they have to do is ask, and I will be there. As we all age, I'm sure they won't be needing their grandparents as much as they do now but they will know I'll be there for them—always.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? That is a tough question. I've given it a lot of thought and don't have an answer. I do remember a friend who years ago talked about her children going off to college, and when she stood in the driveway and waved goodbye she didn't have any regrets. I kept that in mind raising my daughter, and I still think about it with my grandchildren. That is why it is so easy to stop what I'm doing and concentrate on what they want or need.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Enjoy the role of grandma—nurturing and loving them. But remember, you are not their mother. The parents should be allowed to make parenting decisions just like you did with your children. It's hard sometimes to keep your opinion to your self, but it is a skill that can be developed—I work at it every day. Unless the grandchild is being put in an unsafe position, the parents need to parent them and you need to love and support them. You've already done the parenting job. The loving and supporting job is the best job anyway so relax and enjoy it.

Do you have a website or blog? What is it about? Yes, I started a blog this year, www.grandparentsplus2.wordpress.com. I wanted to write about our gardening, traveling and camping adventures. We have such great times together whether it is pulling weeds, growing vegetables and flowers, touring Monticello or Cooperstown, reviewing products, or camping at the beach that I wanted to share our fun. I hope some of you will stop by and leave us a comment.

Grilled Grandma: Laurie

How many children do you have? I have two wonderful boys and the greatest daughters-in-law...Adam, 38 (wife, Jenny), and Jeffrey, 35 (wife, Janet)!

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? 4 grandchildren: Owen, 5; Audrey, 3; Celia, 3; and Dylan, 19 mos.

Any great grandchildren? No...not yet! It is way too soon for that! : )

What do your grandchildren call you? "Grammie"

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? Not really a concern, but a yearning to be in my grandchildren's lives....even though they all lived quite far away!

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? Not often enough (!!!!)...but, I manage to visit them and they all come to me several times during the year. We take turns sharing the holidays with the other grandparents.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? EVERYTHING!

Sharing their innocence, feeling their joy, becoming a child again through their eyes, finding that playful spirit within me, and hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs. Did I mention "hugs"?!

I also find that having the privilege of watching my two sons as fathers has been unbelievably heartwarming. I am so proud of them as sons, brothers, fathers, and the men that they have grown to be.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Realizing that I am not as young as I used to be...especially when I get down on the floor to play with them...and, it takes me quite a long time to get back up...as well as lots of moans and groans! : )

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. Truth be told, they all keep me in a constant state of laughter with their joyful silliness and youthful innocence. A lot of giggles seem to occur around food...such as birthday cake frosting that ends up to be more on their faces than their stomachs!

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? I love having everyone up on my big bed. Since the rules are a little different at Grammie's house, they can even jump on it as much as they would like to! (Don't tell their parents!)

Because I am an artist, I especially love doing art projects with the grandkids. I have their precious "work" all over the walls in my studio! It makes me smile to be surrounded by their artistic expressions.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Awaiting their "wake-up calls" in the morning when they sneak down to Grammie's room! I also love when their parent's "loan" them to me for a whole day to do whatever we would like! Oh, and I adore watching them pursue their interests such as dance classes, gymnastics, and tennis lessons...

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? This is the tough part when so many miles separate us...but, thankfully, with modern technology, we are able to share moments together through the computer with Skype and Facetime. As they get older, I am hopeful that this ritual can become a longer conversation with each grandchild.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? Kindness, loving, happiness, compassion, patience, independence, tolerance, good health...and to always follow their hearts when pursuing their dreams.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? FUN! (and the second one would be "huggable"!!)

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? I honestly don't have an answer for that one....it is all such a wonderful journey and the learning process is part of the joy.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Enjoy every moment...because at a blink of an eye....they grow up so quickly.

Do you have a website or blog? What is it about? Yes, it is called, "Awaiting Buddha". The explanation of this title is found on my blog page. The blog was created when my first grandchild was about to be born. I felt the need to share my feelings about this experience of becoming a first time grandma....and, six years and four grandchildren later, I am still at it. I don't write quite as often as I used to, but still try to post when I can. I am hopeful that it will serve as a diary of sorts for my children and grandchildren in the future and give them some insight as to what their "Grammie" was all about!

Grilled Grandma: Linda

How many children do you have? I have 3 children—a son and 2 daughters.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have 8 grandchildren, including my partner's 5 grandchildren. They range from 22 months to 15 years old.

What do your grandchildren call you? They call me Grandma, or GrandmaLinda.

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? My biggest concern at first, was not being able to afford the things I wanted to give them, and that I didn't have a nice place for them to come and stay with me. But I've learned from the children that those things don't matter one bit.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? I'm so lucky to be with the baby 3-4 days a week, because I'm his Grannny-Nanny, and I see the other kids at least a couple times a month.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? The best part of being a grandmother, besides having precious, adorable little people to dote on, who adore you, is being able to be an important family symbol of both the past and the future. I can give them roots, sharing stories of the past. And for their future: I'm providing a model, by the way I live my life, and by my acceptance, I'm teaching them to believe in themselves, so they can do anything!

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? The most challenging thing for me, is on holidays, or special occasions, showing grace and consideration for the exes and the extended family. Relatives are often a little uncomfortable because we are divorced grandparents, and so are other family members. Sometimes, I just have to use discretion and wisdom about what I say, or where I seat people or sit myself. Other times we don't get invited, and I must not be sensitive, because it's part of the natural fallout of divorce in families. I have to be careful not to be defensive or hurt by things others may say unwittingly, and I have to be a peacemaker. I want to show grace and dignity, and I pray about this. It's really important to me to be a wise, strong, positive model to my kids, and my sisters, and everyone in the family. I take being the "family matriarch " very seriously!

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. I laugh out loud all the time, the children say and do such funny things. Yesterday, the baby ate a handful of sand from his brand new sandbox, I swooped it out and I started spitting in the yard, telling him to spit, but he just giggled and crunched his little teeth on the grit.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? At my house, we do art projects, or make cookies.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? At their homes, we have tea parties, watch funny movies, or sing karaoke.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? The older ones keep in touch by texting me or calling me, and I (spy on) watch them on Facebook. The best way to bond with the little ones is to make sure to be a support to the parents, make sure they know I'll always be there when they need me.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? I want to pass along a legacy of love; self-love, God's love and love for each other.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? One word that will remind them of me—I hope it's " love.”

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? I wish I'd learned earlier to have serenity, not to worry about anything, for things usually work out okay after all.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? If I was to give any advice to a new grandma, I would say, don't worry about material things that you are unable to give, or compare yourself to other grandmothers. Just be yourself—give yourself, it's you they want and need.

Accept the grandchildren, just as they are. Don't compare them or boast to one parent about the other's child.

There are inexpensive and free, inspirational and fun things to do with your grandkids. Buy used books to give and read to them,

Dollar stores, thrift shops, yard sales have good stuff, when you really must buy something. Bubbles, homemade playdough, flower seeds, any paper---- these are all resources for activities to do with your grandchild. Take them to a park, play, sing and dance with them, tell them about when you were young, and listen to them!  Remember that the little things are really the big things.

Do you have a website or blog? What is it about? I have a website about my work, www.selectiveresidentialservices.blogspot.com, and two business pages on Facebook, for Selective Residential Services, and Vintage Treasures, and an Etsy shop, www.etsy.com/shop/grandmalay. My blog is www.grandmalay.blogspot.com, and it's about being a grandma, vintage decorating, gardening, family and home life, and my adventures. I want to do some painted furniture project demos next. I like to share lots of great quotes and affirmations on my blog, too.

Grilled Grandma: Margaret

How many children do you have? I have 3 sons; my husband has 3 daughters. (The Brady Bunch...without an Alice.)

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? Between us, we have 13.

I have 8 grandchildren living in Texas, Kansas, and Connecticut. They are 22 (a step-granddaughter), 14, 13, 10, 10, 9, 8, and 7.

My husband has 5 grandchildren living in Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, and Maryland. They are 24, 20, 11, 3 and 1.

Any great grandchildren? My step-granddaughter in Kansas just had a baby boy.

What do your grandchildren call you? Grammie

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? I felt worried that I would never be able to see them as often as I wanted to...they live so far away.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? We try to see all at least twice a year. Some we see more often—especially those who live closer.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? To know these wonderful children. They are funny, loving, energetic, interesting human beings. Our kids are doing a good job.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? To refrain from giving unsolicited advice.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. I was showing pictures of my family to three of my granddaughters. When I showed them a picture of my grandmother, by then an old woman (and never beautiful), I said to the girls, "I used to worry that when I got old my hair would be wispy and thin like hers."

One granddaughter glanced at the photo critically and said in astonishment, "Weren't you worried about the face?!"

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Our youngest grandchild is an infant, our oldest already graduated from college, so what we do together varies a lot, from peek-a-boo to cooking or knitting lessons, to going out for dinner. I especially love telling stories to my grandkids.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? I love to see what their lives are like: go to their games, dance recitals, concerts, etc.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? It's hard; email and the telephone help. Sometimes I need to remember that it’s all about the quality of our connections, not quantity. I only saw my grandmother once after I turned six. Even so, she profoundly affected my life by the stories my parents told about her.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? I want them to believe to their heart's core that all the people of the world are worthy of their respect and compassion, regardless of their nationality, ethnicity, looks, gender, sexual preference, or religious beliefs.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Loving.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? I wished I’d realized earlier how hard it is for my kids to juggle family obligations, so I wouldn’t have been hurt if I wasn’t going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Now we plan to see all of our kids near the holidays, not necessarily for the holidays.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? When you're with one of your kids, lavish all your attention, time, and thoughts to his or her family. Make no comparisons, good or bad, to the grandchildren’s cousins.

I have a digital photo frame that I load with pictures of the visiting family--only. The grandkids never seem to notice that they are the only kids in the pictures and love to look at the old pictures of themselves.

Do you have a website or blog? What is it about? I do have a website: the URL is margaretfrench.wordpress.com. On my blog, I post stories I've written. Some are personal stories or stories about family, some are my versions of folktales, others are history-based. Many are stories I've told or will tell. I became a professional storyteller after I retired. It’s pure fun!